Yellow pigs and yellow costume

Serafina's class is broken up into teams and her's is the "yellow pigs".  Yesterday they made team flags and presented them to the class.    

 Here's the pig she drew for the poster.

 Yesterday's dance class was extra exciting because they received their costumes for recital.  Here she is trying it on at class with her friend Emma.

 She tried it on again at home.  It's got a lot of sequins on it and it needs some sewing.  I also have to get her different tights.

 She really likes this dance class, but all the recital nonsense is a bit exhausting for me and we haven't even gotten to the actual recital. Oh and the recital is just a quick 23 dances long.  Lordy.

Leo's First Grade Concert

Leo performed in his first grade concert three times in the past two days.  I went to see his first performance during the day on Monday.  

He was excited to see me.  

 The kids were lined up ready to file on to the stage.

 The kids were crammed on the stage.

 Yesterday the audience was kindergarteners, 2nd graders and 3rd graders.

Here are a couple of short videos.   

The theme of the show was Friendship and Life Skills.

 I love that they sang about "self-control".  This is something my first grader struggles with often.

 He performed again this morning for the 4th and 5th graders and then tonight was the big evening performance.

 I dropped him off at his classroom where he met up with his buddy Max.

It was very crowded tonight and the audience was a sea of camera's and phones.  The performance was short and sweet, clocking in at under 15 minutes.  We waited twice as long for the performance to start.  Tom and Serafina headed home after the show and I collected Leo at his classroom.  When we walked in the door, Serafina rushed up to Leo and told him he did a great job at his performance.  It was really nice.  We were all proud of Leo and he was proud of himself.

Swim cap tutorial

Serafina wears a swim cap for lessons.  I always give her a messy half-ponytail and then shove the cap over the top.  She looks like a cone head, but it gets the job done.  

Here she is right before cap application.  

 Well, I've been doing it all wrong so her instructor, Tyler, gave us a lesson today.  Apparently, you are supposed to twist the hair...

 And then just shove it up in the cap.  No hairband necessary.  Serafina was wincing in pain while he did this but she tolerated it.

 She preferred the non-cone head look, so I guess I'm going to try to replicate it for next swim class.

Serafina, spirit award winner

We had back-to-back baseball games.  Serafina's was the second game and she did great in the field and batting.  Here she is playing catcher.   

 And she won the spirit award!

 Showing off the award to Nana who was a good spectator through both games.

I didn't get any pictures of Leo's game because I was too busy yelling at him to pay attention.  He did a great job hitting as usual, but out in the field he was focused on dancing instead of playing ball.  It was frustrating for me but very entertaining for Nana.

Swimming in the sunshine

The pool took down the bubble over the learning pool.  It is so much better out in the sun and fresh air, though I have to make sure to slather them with sunscreen.  

Saying Goodbye

Overall, the visit to Arkansas went smoothly.  Traveling there was long and exhausting but uneventful.  When I got to the house, I said hello and was fine for about five minutes before I was totally overcome with emotion.  I bawled and held Sharon and it was the first of many cries that weekend.  

That night as my stepbrother Justen worked out some last minute details for the service, I poked around my dad's office.  I found a basket with three watches.  I picked up the first two and they were nice, but I didn't recognize them.  The third one caused me to lose my breath.  It was his watch - the watch I had grown up seeing on his wrist, fiddling with my fingers as I sat on his lap.  

The next morning I wore it to the service.  

I wrote a eulogy on the plane.  I had been putting it off and doing a lot of writing but not actually the words I planned to say.  But up there above the clouds, the words came to me better than they had in the weeks prior and it gave me much relief.

Here's the guest book table and a picture I had printed.  It's from my wedding.

This was on the screens during the service.

Justen served as a "master of ceremonies" so to speak.  He started off the service by welcoming everyone and staying some nice words about my dad.  Then a dear family friend read emails sent by my aunt Josefina and her husband Glen.  She also talked about how important my dad was to her family and kids.  Justen read a poem that my dad had been showing people in the last weeks of his life.  (I've included it at the end of this post.)  I had a turn to speak and then there was another email read and my dad's closest friend, Jose, spoke.  I had kept my crying mostly under control until Jose talked about my dad.  Jose is an incredibly sweet, soft-spoken man with a thick Spanish accent despite living in the states for several decades.  He worked closely with my dad in L.A. and then moved to Mena to work for him.  Justen made a slideshow that was shown at the end of the service.  It was very touching and the below image was the last frame.

The service went well and many people came up to me to tell me sweet things about my dad.  It was touching and exhausting at the same time.

After the service and some lunch, I got a little animal therapy from Bear before taking a nap.  I needed that nap.

Then we took a walk.  Everything is so lush and green this time of year.

This property had quite the collection of marlin houses.  Marlins eat mosquitos so they are very good to have around.

My step-nephew Andy thought he could climb this tree.  He couldn't.

Friday night Sharon went to bed and my stepbrothers were hanging with a friend on the back porch, so I decided to poke around my dad's office some more.

He had a surprising number of cassette tapes.  Here's just a small sampling.

My dad had such distinct handwriting.  I found this piece of paper.  On one side he had written out the lyrics to "My Way" by Frank Sinatra; on the other was the lyrics to "Fools Rush In" by Elvis.  The Elvis song was included in the slideshow.

I found this picture of myself from high school in one of the photo albums.

There was a lot of crying on Friday but there were lots of tears on Saturday too.  I felt like my heart had been ripped out when I was shown his robe that he had my entire life and still smelled like him.  That was so hard.

Sharon didn't want to keep my dad's ashes.  I understood.  I packaged up some to take home and I plan to take him to a warm, beautiful beach this summer.  He loved warm water and tropical locations.  I suggested we scatter the rest of the ashes on his property.  My stepbrothers and Sharon were all okay with this plan, but when it came time it was too painful for Sharon.  My stepbrother Shawn stayed with her while Justen, Andy and I headed down to the creek.  We didn't have to search long for the right spot.  It was pretty clear.

Not much was said.  Just lots of crying and hugging.

It was so very hard, but it also felt right.

Sunday I made the long drive back to Little Rock to catch my flight.  I've always wanted to pull over at the scenic overlook on the way but I never have.  I did yesterday.  Take a look at Ouchita (wosh-i-taw) Mountains.

A selfie.  I bought these sunglasses off my stepbrother Shawn.  He got them at a gas station.

I usually don't like to talk to people in the airport or on the plane, but when a woman in my row was struggling with her one-year-old I offered to hold her for a bit.  She was very content on my lap for about 30 minutes.  Her mom really appreciated the break.  I just showed her all the pictures on my phone and talked to her in a soft voice.  

Then I made it home and got to hold my own babies.  It was nice.

Sigh.  This was not an easy trip; I didn't think I could cry that much.

Here's the poem that was read:

At Peace

By Amado Nervo (translated from Spanish)

Very near my sunset, I bless you, Life

because you never gave me neither unfilled hope

nor unfair work, nor undeserved sorrow.

Because I see at the end of rough way

that I was the architect of my own destiny

and if I extracted the sweetness or the bitterness of things

it was because I put the sweetness or the bitterness in them

when I planted rose bushes I always harvested roses

Certainly, winter is going to follow my youth

But you didn't tell me that May was eternal

I found without a doubt long my nights of pain

But you didn't promise me only good nights

And in exchange I had some peaceful ones

I loved, I was loved, the sun caressed my face

Life, you owe me nothing, Life, we are at peace!